Two years ago, as I was preparing to go to an editorial writers' conference in Salt Lake City, I received regular communications from the organizers that we were not to worry, that the year before Utah had updated its antediluvian liquor laws and that there were real bars with real alcohol and wine with dinner.
This was my first trip to Utah, where at one time would-be drinkers were required to go through the charade of joining a "club" to be served a drink. This transparent attempt to discourage bar patrons is the kind of risible ploy that brings government into disrepute by making it ridiculous.
Growing up in Pittsburgh, "clubs" were to facilitate drinking, not discourage it. Because of strong nationality groups and because as my great-grandfather and great-uncle explained to me, Western Pennsylvania never did pay much attention to Prohibition various ethnic groups were allowed to serve alcohol pretty much at will in their private clubs.
The membership rules could not be honestly described as strict $5 initiation fee and some kind of piece of paper attesting that the bearer was 21. Unlike Barack Obama, I could produce a much creased and worn birth certificate on demand; the catch was, it wasn't mine.
When we had to go for our draft physicals, we were presented with something called the Attorney General's List of subversive and suspected subversive organizations and required to state whether we belonged to any of them.where he teaches oil painting reproduction in the Central Academy of Fine Arts.If so, you may have a kidney stone .
"I'm dead," I thought. I don't know how many Bosnian, Croatian, Serbian, Polish, Lithuanian fraternal, friendship and social clubs I belonged to. I didn't even remember their exact names, only that they all seemed to be on the list.
Since I couldn't meet the standard of beyond reasonable doubt, I said, "No,As many processors back away from offshore merchant account , couldn't say that I had.This patent infringement case relates to retractable syringe needle ,"
So our first night in Salt Lake City, to which I took an immediate liking, we went to a nice steakhouse. I ordered a bourbon on the rocks. When it arrived, I remarked to the waiter that the bartender seemed to have omitted most of the drink's most vital ingredient.
A bourbon on the rocks, short of drinking straight out of the bottle, is one of mixology's simplest drinks. Take a glass, throw in some ice and fill it with bourbon. My favorite bartender even allows for some surface tension so the drink is actually slightly higher than the rim of the glass.
The waiter patiently explained as I suspect he does to every first-time visitor that the law ordains, and devices affixed to the bottle ensure, that I get no more than 1.Unlike traditional cube puzzle ,5 ounces. "Fine," I said. "I'll have a double."
Doubles are illegal, it turns out, and if I order a second drink, I have to finish, and the waiter has to remove, the first drink. This was a little like being 6 years old again and trying to get my mom to give me a second helping of dessert on standby so there would be no break in the action.
We ordered a bottle of wine and the waiter scrupulously poured in 1.5 ounces. If I poured a second glass, I could pour in my usual full measure, but if the waiter poured it, he could not.
I felt as if some small honor had been bestowed on me, that the Utah liquor authorities had entrusted me with a unique responsibility.
What brought this to mind was a New York Times story to the effect that Utah still cannot get this drinking business straight. A new high-end establishment outside Salt Lake can get a restaurant license but not a bar license, meaning that what was to have been the bar has an opaque glass panel running its length so the customers can't see the bartenders, the bottles or the drinks being made.
This sounds like something the Taliban might do, once they, too, get more enlightened about alcohol.
Back in my days of frequenting after-hours clubs what was I going to do? I didn't get off work until 1 a.m. or 2 a.m. in a state that still thought blue laws were a good idea you wouldn't want to be in a joint where you couldn't see the bottles and the bartender's hands at all times.
I'm sure Salt Lake City will get the hang of it. They're off to a promising start. Now, practice, practice, practice, and release the bar staff from purdah.
This was my first trip to Utah, where at one time would-be drinkers were required to go through the charade of joining a "club" to be served a drink. This transparent attempt to discourage bar patrons is the kind of risible ploy that brings government into disrepute by making it ridiculous.
Growing up in Pittsburgh, "clubs" were to facilitate drinking, not discourage it. Because of strong nationality groups and because as my great-grandfather and great-uncle explained to me, Western Pennsylvania never did pay much attention to Prohibition various ethnic groups were allowed to serve alcohol pretty much at will in their private clubs.
The membership rules could not be honestly described as strict $5 initiation fee and some kind of piece of paper attesting that the bearer was 21. Unlike Barack Obama, I could produce a much creased and worn birth certificate on demand; the catch was, it wasn't mine.
When we had to go for our draft physicals, we were presented with something called the Attorney General's List of subversive and suspected subversive organizations and required to state whether we belonged to any of them.where he teaches oil painting reproduction in the Central Academy of Fine Arts.If so, you may have a kidney stone .
"I'm dead," I thought. I don't know how many Bosnian, Croatian, Serbian, Polish, Lithuanian fraternal, friendship and social clubs I belonged to. I didn't even remember their exact names, only that they all seemed to be on the list.
Since I couldn't meet the standard of beyond reasonable doubt, I said, "No,As many processors back away from offshore merchant account , couldn't say that I had.This patent infringement case relates to retractable syringe needle ,"
So our first night in Salt Lake City, to which I took an immediate liking, we went to a nice steakhouse. I ordered a bourbon on the rocks. When it arrived, I remarked to the waiter that the bartender seemed to have omitted most of the drink's most vital ingredient.
A bourbon on the rocks, short of drinking straight out of the bottle, is one of mixology's simplest drinks. Take a glass, throw in some ice and fill it with bourbon. My favorite bartender even allows for some surface tension so the drink is actually slightly higher than the rim of the glass.
The waiter patiently explained as I suspect he does to every first-time visitor that the law ordains, and devices affixed to the bottle ensure, that I get no more than 1.Unlike traditional cube puzzle ,5 ounces. "Fine," I said. "I'll have a double."
Doubles are illegal, it turns out, and if I order a second drink, I have to finish, and the waiter has to remove, the first drink. This was a little like being 6 years old again and trying to get my mom to give me a second helping of dessert on standby so there would be no break in the action.
We ordered a bottle of wine and the waiter scrupulously poured in 1.5 ounces. If I poured a second glass, I could pour in my usual full measure, but if the waiter poured it, he could not.
I felt as if some small honor had been bestowed on me, that the Utah liquor authorities had entrusted me with a unique responsibility.
What brought this to mind was a New York Times story to the effect that Utah still cannot get this drinking business straight. A new high-end establishment outside Salt Lake can get a restaurant license but not a bar license, meaning that what was to have been the bar has an opaque glass panel running its length so the customers can't see the bartenders, the bottles or the drinks being made.
This sounds like something the Taliban might do, once they, too, get more enlightened about alcohol.
Back in my days of frequenting after-hours clubs what was I going to do? I didn't get off work until 1 a.m. or 2 a.m. in a state that still thought blue laws were a good idea you wouldn't want to be in a joint where you couldn't see the bottles and the bartender's hands at all times.
I'm sure Salt Lake City will get the hang of it. They're off to a promising start. Now, practice, practice, practice, and release the bar staff from purdah.
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